Then he wasn’t so thrilled with us or the change and thus began a 3 hour long stretch of crying and thrashing. Poor guy, such a HUGE change for him. So we finalized the adoption as he mourned BIG time. Even his nannies couldn’t console him. We were planning to have lunch with the orphanage director, but decided it best to take our sad, crying boy back to the hotel.
He fell asleep in the car and we carried him up and let him sleep. He woke up, got very sad again, but silent tears. I snuggled him and rocked him to sleep in my arms where he stayed another couple hours. He woke up and was okay with Mama only and didn’t really want to engage, but liked to eat. Slowly throughout the evening he began engaging between grabbing my finger to take me to get his shoes and going to the door. He cried a little at night time and showed us the door again, but I rocked him to sleep and he slept peacefully in the crib for 8 hours; woke up at 3am and I pulled him in bed with us – no crying.
We are so blessed with this sweet little boy and are grateful that he is slowly bonding .We know it will take time for him to mourn the loss of all he has known. God is good – one less orphan.
Day 6 -Bonding with our Beautiful Son
Today was wonderful!! No crying – his initial mourning was super tough, but good for him. I know it will come back in waves for a while (and realistically the rest of his life) but today is a good day. He slept well at night and for nap time, we played all day and he seems to be starting to trust us. He’ll grab our finger and take us in walks around the hotel floor, but when he sees a stranger he will open arms to be picked up – so attachment is going very well!!! (Note: He is still very willing to go to a stranger if we don’t immediately have a snack that he wants – so we work on always having a snack handy)
Our son is almost 2 years old. Other than his visual scars from surgery, he looks healthy – albeit a little small for his age (his head makes him look deceptively big). He can walk, move large objects, stack blocks, and is very curious. We have yet to see a smile, but apparently didn’t smile in the orphanage either. I keep reminding myself to give it time. Apparently his first vocalization at all was just 2 months ago. He can say “ma” (which to him means any caregiver) and “ba” (the way he says no, not Chinese)
Chinese orphanages do the best they can with what they have; we are grateful for the care he got. His orphanage was very poor, the children ate “congee” (runny porridge) 3 meals a day with some low nutrition carby snacks throughout the day. They shared a communal cup that was hot water to get rid of the parasites in their water. They didn’t have the staff or facilities to be able to take the kids outside – our son’s first trip out of the orphanage was to come meet us at Civil Affairs.
He’s such a sweet kid, BIG eater, cuddly, likes to pick up toys and just melts our heart with his precious little face!! We are so blessed to be his parents and it looks like he is feeling the same way about us.