Marriage - I still I Do

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Marriage - I still I Do

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Over labor day my husband & I were able to get-away for an overnight and finally celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Thanks Mom & Dad for watching the kiddos!

Our society seems to take marriage about as seriously as pair of jeans. Your spouse is like your favorite pair. You love them, they make you feel good, it works, and you are happy for a couple years. Then, for any number of reasons you decide you really don't like them that much, you might keep the jeans in case you change your mind, but once you are sure that there is something 'better' out there you split.  So Sad!

I recently read that only 65% of marriages make it to the 10 year anniversary. You want to know something sadder, it said only 5% make it to the 50 year!

Besides the many societal impacts that has, I was thinking how sad that our marriage vows mean so little. If you are like most of us your vows went something like this:
"I take you to be my spouse. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer of poorer, until death do us part."
Notice our vows say nothing about as long as I am feeling valued, good, or happy. In fact, it says the opposite - for better or worse till death do us part! I wish more people saw marriage as final and less like an everyday choice to stay married.

I think if we saw it more as an absolute we could then focus on making our marriages good, strong, solid, and happy. But it takes work and commitment, and so many people want to just get out when the going gets rough and start over - as if that is going to solve all the problems.

We are very blessed to come from homes where our parents are still happily married - 34 years and going strong. Only 1 in 5 make it that long! I am also proud to say that my husband shares my view on the sanctity of marriage.

That doesn't mean that it is always easy. You don't always have the "in love" feeling like you did when you got engaged and it can be hard to steal away moments together from the kids to be alone and reconnect. And there are things that no matter how long we are together we will probably never see eye to eye on. Some of them are inconsequential like appreciating using sour cream or cream cheese in foods. Some of them might be habits like checking that each door is locked at least 10 times before going to bed or leaving the house (not kidding here!) And I'm sure I have an array of annoying habits as well!

But we choose to accept each other for who we are. We realize that the reason we are together is as much for our differences as for our similarities. Can you imagine if we both had the same temperament? God knew what he was doing putting the gas pedal & the brake together! God knew what he was doing putting together the emotional and the logical. God knew what he was doing when he put together our strengths and weaknesses so we would be stronger together. God knew what he was doing when he gave us many similar interests - interests that we can enjoy pursuing together for a lifetime.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Mark 10:9
So I will be proud & delight that I still "I DO!" I still love my husband with all that I am. I love the life we've built together. I love the dreams we've shared, meet, and are yet to come. I love that we are better & stronger together. I love that we make a good team. I love our children. I love that we share so many interests. I love that after all these years we still laugh together. I love that if I had a choice, without hesitation, I would spend my time with him! I love that our love is deeper than our looks or the weight we've put on. I love that no matter what cockamamie idea I come up with he's always encouraging, supportive, and right by my side! I love that he still makes me smile. I love that I still long to hold his hand and be by his side. I love that we both love our Savior and are striving to becoming more like him.

We hope we are so fortunate as to be living in good health when we celebrate our 50 years! We will work hard to be intentional about loving each other so that we will be in that 5% that make it for the long hall!


  1. Beth, that is one of the sweetest posts. My grandparents made it to 50 years and were just shy of their 60th when my grandfather passed away. My husband and I are about to celebrate 9 years - a drop in the bucket compared to 50 & 60 years.
    I was so proud of "us". We were at a holiday party last year and someone was talking about this very topic. Someone pointed to my husband and me and said this isn't going anywhere - meaning that we were the til-death-do-you-part couple. That feels good when someone else recognizes it.
    Congratulations on 10 years!